The Op. Monday 28th June 2010

I woke at 5.15 this morning and waited for the sun to come up. Eventually, at about 7ish, people started milling about. The nurse had left me a gown and awful anti embolism stockings the night before. I went and showered and put them on. After more questions and tests, I was ready to go..well almost. Need to see the surgeon ( who I still haven't met) and the anaesthetist. The surgical team came to see me at about 8 O clock. They decided that the best way to get rid of the tumour was by opening up the nipple and taking it out from there so my breast doesn't look too deformed. ( not too sure about that ...but ok). The lymph nodes come out from a separate cut under my armpit. They explain that a drain will be put in under my arm to remove any excess fluid ( cos I won't have any lymph nodes to do it for me). They ask me if I understand everything and if I have any questions. They draw some pictures on my chest and say see you in theatre.

The porters arrive to take Beryl and I down to theatre. My anaesthetist arrives just as we are about to leave. We go through the procedure once again and before I leave, I ask her to please make sure I wake up. She smiles and says she will.

I waited in the theatre reception for a while, until a very nice lady came and went through the questions again! Funny, but she reminds me of my mum ( apart from the fact that my mum was neither 5 ft 2 or Polish!) She asked me if I had a nice weekend. She said that she had a lovely weekend..in Southport. Ok so maybe now I'm actually crapping myself so much that I am clinging onto any desperate hope that my mum was there watching over me, but it works for me.

She took me into an ante room and hooked me up to the usual monitors. I knew there would be vein issues. There are always vein issues! Its made worse by the fact that my right arm can't be used for stuff like that any more and that's where my half decent veins are. I wished them luck in their search for a non collapsing vein. Surprisingly, it only took 2 painful attempts before they found one up near my wrist somewhere. By this point in time I am visibly shaking, I am so scared. The nice lady ( who I am now convinced is my mum ) says they will just give me something to calm my nerves first, before they put me to sleep. She lied..she put me to sleep.

I woke briefly in a small ward. Someone told me that everything was fine and they would be taking me back to the ward soon.

The rest of the day was spent drifting in and out of consciousness. I woke up when Mikey and Em arrived at visiting time. I don't know if I made much sense to them, but I knew what I was talking about. I didn't have any pain apart from my throat. Bloody Hell!! My throat was killing and very swollen. I don't really remember much about that evening,apart from trying to eat a cheese sandwich and giving up because it wouldn't fit down my swollen throat.