More Polyps!!

It's been 6 months since the hysteroscopy and I start 2013 with more bleeding. The doctor and nurse both said " give it 24 hours, and if no change, go to A & E. 24 hours later and no change (other than it getting worse!) off we go to Wythenshawe hospital again. I really do spend too much time there!!
After a examination by the gynae doctor ( who I first met when I was rushed in with chest pains during chemo. She has since chosen her specialty. It was oddly quite comforting to see a familiar face)
They told me that I would be kept in overnight so they could stop the bleeding. The scan showed that my uterus is cystic again, so, more polyps. Blimey, they grow quickly. They said there is also a follicle on my ovary, which would indicate ovulation. So despite enforced menopause...twice, my ovaries want to work again. You can't keep a good ovary down!!. Anyway the end result is another hysteroscopy on Feb 19th and my consultant and I will be discussing hysterectomy after that. I am quite comfortable with the idea of that. I no longer have use for a womb or ovaries and on the plus side,it's 2 more places that the cancer cannot return to.
I have decided that it's about time I started to take some exercise. My normally strong and chunky legs were somewhat wasted after chemo ( sadly, the strength was affected but not the chunkiness). Starting off with some sensible walking. Did 3.5 miles in the snow yesterday. My back is not impressed.
Will update after the hysteroscopy. Until then............KEEP CHECKING!!!!!!

Hysteroscopy

Well, they sent for me quite quickly. The 6am start was a bit rubbish. Didn't know there were 2 6 o clocks in a day! As usual, my 2 troopers were by my side, well at least until I fell asleep on an examination couch in the waiting room. They struck a vein first time...very impressed. Maybe they are improving? I think I was only in theatre for about an hour or so. Came around at about 1.00pm because I heard the words 'sandwiches and tea' Emz arrived a while after and insisted on force feeding me glasses of water so I would pee and be allowed home, which I eventually did. Had a few stomach cramps for a couple of days but nothing too painful. The most painful part is waiting for results. Read lots of internet posts about polyps and Tamoxifen. On every page I looked at, the word Cancer seems to jump out. Tamoxifen apparently can cause cancer of the womb lining. I really don't remember them telling me that!!
After what seemed like weeks, I had a letter from the hospital. Panic over. The cysts they took are benign and I am officially discharged. I still don't know if the Tamoxifen caused the problem but so far so good.
I am off to a funeral tomorrow of a dear friend taken way too soon. It's a long drive, but I would like to say my goodbyes. The lovely Dennis lost his battle against this god awful disease. I am one of the lucky ones. Still here to tell the tale and to keep nagging you all to KEEP CHECKING!!!!!!!

02/08/2012 OK. That's not supposed to happen..

Quick update...Had another mammogram in July and all seems ok still. The soreness in my armpit is as bad as ever. Mr Gandhi just apologised and said that it was at the site of surgery and wouldn't really improve. The heat and redness on my breast...well that's radiotherapy damage and won't improve. I must be still cooking!! And the chest pain is damage to ribs from radiotherapy. Not complaining...I'm still here. The thing that's really upset me this week is that my ovaries appear to have burst into life after nearly 2 years!! It was one of the few good things that came out of all the crap.....that I was officially post menopausal. I was worried about it and phoned the breast care nurse to see if it was 'normal'. It would appear not! She gave me a couple of possible causes and told me to see my GP and get an urgent gynae referral. She says it maybe the Tamoxifen causing it, but to keep taking it, which I find a bit worrying. I have also discovered that the NHS and I have differing ideas on what is urgent! Hmmmm. I am wondering if reading 50 shades of Grey has given my pituitary glands a kick up the bum?? I didn't even particularly enjoy it much either! Will update on the 'Menopausal/ Post menopausal' issue. However in the mean time, I will refrain from reading female erotica, just in case. Oh.....and KEEP CHECKING!!!!!!!!

Looking back over my blog today and in all honesty, it seems like a lifetime ago. In many ways, it's been a tough couple of years and in others, it's been amazing! Quick recap..... I started work 2 weeks after finishing radiotherapy out of necessity, as our fine government decided that cancer isn't a serious enough illness to pay any type of benefits!! Earned myself a promotion after a lot of hard work and determination and settled back down to 'normal' life. The problem is, it isn't normal, nothing will ever be normal again. The chemo and the Tamoxifen has taken its toll and I am having my 2nd bone scan in 6 months. Looks like I have osteoporosis in my spine and am in constant pain. Every morning it is pain that wakes me. It's not all down to the treatment I know, and don't get me wrong, the alternative was not an option. The cancer still looms large constantly. I'm not sure if other people think like me but the other day I was stressing because I couldn't catch a cold. I kept waking up with the symptoms and by lunchtime they would be gone. Now normal people would think " great" it's gone. I, on the other hand was thinking, why? Is it because I have too many white blood cells and my immune system is working overtime hmmm Cancer? The pain in my hips? Bone cancer? Indigestion? or stomach cancer?  I am sure that I am not alone feeling like this and I try my hardest not to keep going to the doctor in case they think I am an over reacting hypochondriac but at the same time, I was so lucky finding my lump as soon as I did. The sooner you catch it, the better your chances. I think it's probably like being a member of AA ( not the motoring association!) once you've had it, it never leaves you and it's always lurking around the corner.
Despite the stressful and painful 2 years, I now have a wonderful head of hair and eyebrows and eyelashes. I have vile scars, but they are my battle wounds and I guess a very small price to pay. Still considering the boob job but I probably won't bother. I'm far too old to be whipping them out on a beach and Mikey loves me on the inside as much as out, so I probably won't bother. I will be going for my bi annual mammogram in July, which I don't really worry about while I'm on the Tamoxifen, it's afterwards, when I stop taking it that scares me. I want to know my grandchildren, I want to be a nana. I want to see my girl happy and settled. I want to be able to collect a pension!! Things most of us take for granted, I will cherish with every breath in me.
Oh yes, one more thing.........KEEP CHECKING!!!!!!!

Back In hospital. 13th August 2010

Slept on the couch last night, just because its comfy. Got up at 7.00am to make Mikey's brie and cranberry baguette for lunch. He always says not to but it makes me feel better. Thought I must have been lay funny cos it feels like I have pulled a muscle in my chest. Anyway, Mikey gets off to work and I go back to my couch for a few more zzzzz's. Phone woke me up at 10.45. It was Mikey, letting me know how is probationary review had gone. It had gone ok. The pain in my chest was still there though but it didn't feel like a muscular pain any more. The only way I can really desribe it is

Last radiotherapy 15th Feb 2011

Well. thats the treatment over and done with. The radio was a breeze compared to everything else. I have started to blister a bit and they say that the effects won't kick in for a week or so. I'm obviously hoping they aren't too bad.

The hair is growing back nicely but my nails are still pretty bad.

I went to the feeling great make up session at the Christie yesterday, it was lovely. I got loads of free samples of very expensive cosmetics and a bottle of SJP perfume, Twilight. Its gorgeous! So, anyone reading this blog who is going through treatment ( or just finished), get along to one of the workshops.!!

I have to go back to the hospital in 6 weeks for a check up and then my mammogram in June. Its odd to be honest. Although the doctor and my surgeon have confirmed that there was no cancer in the margins after my last op, nobody has said " Ok, thats great, you no longer have cancer" So it kind of feels unfinished. I know they don't say you are clear until 5 years has passed but I just expected someone to say its in remission or something. Oh well. maybe the doc will say something at my check up. It's going to be strange not having my life ruled by hospital and doctors appointments. In the past 8 months, there hasn't been a week gone by without an appointment somewhere! Hopefully, I can go back to what I started 8 months ago and do my teacher training....fingers crossed. Looking for a job is my priority now though.

I will decide about reconstruction later in the year. I'm fairly certain I will go for a reconstruction. Its not quite the way I would have envisaged getting a boob job, but hey, if its on offer......

Before I had cancer, it was a word, that I said in a hushed tone. A word that people still seem to hate to say out loud, because to most people cancer = dying. That is so not the case any more.

Cancer can beaten if it is caught early enough and we are vigilant, get to know our own bodies and not be afraid to go and see the doctor if something is worrying you. It is scary to be told you have cancer and your first thought is that you are going to die, and your second is, shit, I'm gonna be bald, but if you get an early diagnosis, chances are it won't kill you. I think it probably makes us a little stronger. Plus, your hair will grow back to be in better condition than it has for years!!

I have met some lovely people on this journey. Most of them breast cancer patients.All of them have the same positive outlook. Some have just had it ,like me and others have been clear for 10, 15 and 2o years. I am sure they will be friends always.The hospital staff at Wythenshawe and The Christie have been incredible, so sensitive and caring.

The next part of my journey is starting now. Hopefully, the fight is over and I can start planning and living again.

My gorgeous girl is getting ready to go off to university. She has been there every step of the way. She has held me while we cried together and she has made me smile when I was down. Don't get me wrong, she has been a pain in the ass sometimes too, but that keeps things normal and normal is good. My lovely bloke Mike has been my stable rock throughout it all. He must be soooo sick of hospitals!! Never once has he accepted that I could die, and his positivity has helped me stay positive. He was there when I woke from operations, rushing me to A &E with pains, giving me injections every day. They should have Mikeys available on the national health!!!

My family have kept me sane this past 8 months. Thank you all.

Will keep my blog posted with events that happen over the next few months. Until then..........KEEP CHECKING!!!!!

Radiotherapy 7th Feb 2011

Well, everything is coming along fine. I haven't had any soreness or sunburn type effect so far. Had treatment number 10 today. My throat is a bit croaky and is starting to get sore. The hospital has given me some sticky paracetamol to take, which apparently coats your throat with paracetamol, rather than it just being swallowed.

Still no sensation in my fingers and toes. Seemingly, its the Taxotere chemo drug that damages your peripheral nerves. I'm not sure I will ever get the feeling back. I shall ask the doc on Thursday.

My hair is growing back very quickly now. I reckon I'll be able to have an Emma Watson crop by summer!!

We are taking Emz to have her in growing toenails sorted tomorrow morning. They call it nail 'surgery'. Emz loving it really, cos it sounds dead dramatic...bless her.

Hoping that the radiotherapy isn't delayed an hour AGAIN tomorrow. Its crap just sitting around. Mikey, along with every other accompanying bloke in there, falls asleep. Honestly, last week, every man there who wasn't being treated was sat snoring ( or puffing in Mikey's case) Talk about moral support!!!!! Only kidding , Mikey is brilliant and is there every single step, holding my hand.

Anyhow, more posts to follow. Until then Ladies ( and gents!!) PLEASE KEEP CHECKING!!!!!