Hysteroscopy

Well, they sent for me quite quickly. The 6am start was a bit rubbish. Didn't know there were 2 6 o clocks in a day! As usual, my 2 troopers were by my side, well at least until I fell asleep on an examination couch in the waiting room. They struck a vein first time...very impressed. Maybe they are improving? I think I was only in theatre for about an hour or so. Came around at about 1.00pm because I heard the words 'sandwiches and tea' Emz arrived a while after and insisted on force feeding me glasses of water so I would pee and be allowed home, which I eventually did. Had a few stomach cramps for a couple of days but nothing too painful. The most painful part is waiting for results. Read lots of internet posts about polyps and Tamoxifen. On every page I looked at, the word Cancer seems to jump out. Tamoxifen apparently can cause cancer of the womb lining. I really don't remember them telling me that!!
After what seemed like weeks, I had a letter from the hospital. Panic over. The cysts they took are benign and I am officially discharged. I still don't know if the Tamoxifen caused the problem but so far so good.
I am off to a funeral tomorrow of a dear friend taken way too soon. It's a long drive, but I would like to say my goodbyes. The lovely Dennis lost his battle against this god awful disease. I am one of the lucky ones. Still here to tell the tale and to keep nagging you all to KEEP CHECKING!!!!!!!

02/08/2012 OK. That's not supposed to happen..

Quick update...Had another mammogram in July and all seems ok still. The soreness in my armpit is as bad as ever. Mr Gandhi just apologised and said that it was at the site of surgery and wouldn't really improve. The heat and redness on my breast...well that's radiotherapy damage and won't improve. I must be still cooking!! And the chest pain is damage to ribs from radiotherapy. Not complaining...I'm still here. The thing that's really upset me this week is that my ovaries appear to have burst into life after nearly 2 years!! It was one of the few good things that came out of all the crap.....that I was officially post menopausal. I was worried about it and phoned the breast care nurse to see if it was 'normal'. It would appear not! She gave me a couple of possible causes and told me to see my GP and get an urgent gynae referral. She says it maybe the Tamoxifen causing it, but to keep taking it, which I find a bit worrying. I have also discovered that the NHS and I have differing ideas on what is urgent! Hmmmm. I am wondering if reading 50 shades of Grey has given my pituitary glands a kick up the bum?? I didn't even particularly enjoy it much either! Will update on the 'Menopausal/ Post menopausal' issue. However in the mean time, I will refrain from reading female erotica, just in case. Oh.....and KEEP CHECKING!!!!!!!!

Looking back over my blog today and in all honesty, it seems like a lifetime ago. In many ways, it's been a tough couple of years and in others, it's been amazing! Quick recap..... I started work 2 weeks after finishing radiotherapy out of necessity, as our fine government decided that cancer isn't a serious enough illness to pay any type of benefits!! Earned myself a promotion after a lot of hard work and determination and settled back down to 'normal' life. The problem is, it isn't normal, nothing will ever be normal again. The chemo and the Tamoxifen has taken its toll and I am having my 2nd bone scan in 6 months. Looks like I have osteoporosis in my spine and am in constant pain. Every morning it is pain that wakes me. It's not all down to the treatment I know, and don't get me wrong, the alternative was not an option. The cancer still looms large constantly. I'm not sure if other people think like me but the other day I was stressing because I couldn't catch a cold. I kept waking up with the symptoms and by lunchtime they would be gone. Now normal people would think " great" it's gone. I, on the other hand was thinking, why? Is it because I have too many white blood cells and my immune system is working overtime hmmm Cancer? The pain in my hips? Bone cancer? Indigestion? or stomach cancer?  I am sure that I am not alone feeling like this and I try my hardest not to keep going to the doctor in case they think I am an over reacting hypochondriac but at the same time, I was so lucky finding my lump as soon as I did. The sooner you catch it, the better your chances. I think it's probably like being a member of AA ( not the motoring association!) once you've had it, it never leaves you and it's always lurking around the corner.
Despite the stressful and painful 2 years, I now have a wonderful head of hair and eyebrows and eyelashes. I have vile scars, but they are my battle wounds and I guess a very small price to pay. Still considering the boob job but I probably won't bother. I'm far too old to be whipping them out on a beach and Mikey loves me on the inside as much as out, so I probably won't bother. I will be going for my bi annual mammogram in July, which I don't really worry about while I'm on the Tamoxifen, it's afterwards, when I stop taking it that scares me. I want to know my grandchildren, I want to be a nana. I want to see my girl happy and settled. I want to be able to collect a pension!! Things most of us take for granted, I will cherish with every breath in me.
Oh yes, one more thing.........KEEP CHECKING!!!!!!!

Back In hospital. 13th August 2010

Slept on the couch last night, just because its comfy. Got up at 7.00am to make Mikey's brie and cranberry baguette for lunch. He always says not to but it makes me feel better. Thought I must have been lay funny cos it feels like I have pulled a muscle in my chest. Anyway, Mikey gets off to work and I go back to my couch for a few more zzzzz's. Phone woke me up at 10.45. It was Mikey, letting me know how is probationary review had gone. It had gone ok. The pain in my chest was still there though but it didn't feel like a muscular pain any more. The only way I can really desribe it is